Saturday, January 12, 2008

Diary of a Breast Cancer Survivor

March 15, 2007: One treatment down and 7 more to go...
My treatments are every two weeks - in between I am supposed to climb back out of the hole and try to make myself strong for the next time when they are going to knock me down again. The first treatment was 10 days ago. Every day seems to center around either killing part of me or boosting me up so that I am strong enough to be knocked down again.
There is a famous breast cancer surgeon, Dr Susan Love, (same name - so odd !!) who calls it "slash, poison and burn." Hopefully the new directions in research that are being taken will bring in something more humane and effective. It's the equivalent of their giving arsenic to cure syphilis back early in the XXth century.
My regular MD gave me some "tonic" last week. It's made of plants, a dark brown in colour and as nasty tasting as you can imagine. Now I am bouncing off the walls with energy. Perhaps if I could meditate that would balance out the zinginess.
My oncologist is quite happy to co-ordinate the treatments with all the vitamin and herbs, etc that I am taking. It took me a while to find someone open minded enough but I finally did. While he doesn't work at Sloan Kettering but at NY Presbyterian (next door), he uses Dr Norton's protocol (the Sloan Kettering breast cancer GOD). While Sloan Kettering may be THE place, I had a friend die a couple of years ago after they misread her x-rays --- so no where is perfect. (Her family is now rich from the law suit - but has no mom. Enough said.) NYC is full of incredible world class people - the challenge is to find the most humane ones.
Finding a surgeon was also a hunt: the first was a smart looking woman in a tight skirt, 4" heels and a bevy of beautiful secretaries who all made you feel plain, vulnerable and pitiful by comparison (which was my state of mind anyway, when I first discovered the tumor). She coldly announced my options, glared at me through hoody eyes when we announced we would, of course, be seeking a second opinion, and my husband, Curtis and I left shaking. Two weeks later we were again sitting and waiting, Curtis trying to look cheerful and me huddled under my hospital gown, close to tears. In marched another top-of the-tree surgeon, but this one had a grin and a bow tie. Any guy who wears a bow tie has a sense of humor. He gave us more or less the same choices and handed me his card with his email and said please shot off any questions and we booked a date.
There was only one place that I felt he slipped up and that was not ordering the test that they do in California and several other places which analyzes the tumor tissue to see what kind of chemo is most likely to kill your particular cancer. Most MD's don't ask for it as many insurances don't pay for it. When I asked the oncologist about it he said that it wasn't 100% reliable (neither is chemo) but still useful and that unfortunately one needed a live sample for the test. I had no live sample as I had not set it up beforehand - one has to do a lot of the "work" oneself and the choices are numerous and confusing.
While searching for an oncologist, I read and read - the internet is both a curse and a blessing. I came across a Ralph Moss, who writes very useful cancer reports for the general public. (He was recently on the New Your Times page on progress in cancer work.) I also found the Dr Susan Love Foundation with a good website.
People keep inviting me to lunch with friends of theirs who have had breast cancer and who have "survived." The first thing you look at is to see whether or not their eyelashes have grown back because you can't believe they actually will. They do.
I ordered the wigs and the turbans and waited with dread for the first poisoning. I also had to finish a root canal first - one is not supposed to do anything during the treatment that would introduce possible infection.
I found a lovely Chinese doctor who gives me acupuncture and who always comes into the room, sits down beside me, puts his hand on my shoulder and gently asks how I am doing today. Makes you feel that you have a big brother who is going to take care of you. Curtis is so intrigued by the idea of electric circuits in the body that he is reading a huge tome by a Swedish MD, head of a large hospital and formerly on, the Nobel prize committee (when dealing with cancer one always states the person's credentials as there are so many quacks out there). So now both Curtis and I go twice a week to have pins stuck in us. He is regaining the circulation in the pads of his feet which he had been slowly loosing over the years and is pleased as punch.
My goodness, this has turned into "an essay."
Lastly, I found a hospital study on the internet done in New Zealand where 85% of the women didn't loose their hair by sitting under a casque emitting electric impulses several times a week. You are supposed to start 2 weeks before the first chemo, but I found the study 3 days into the chemo. I traced the company who made the machine to Vancouver, called them up and asked if anyone in NYC had one. I was referred to a dermatologist in Brooklyn who sent me to a spa in Midtown. I sit under the casque for 12 minutes while Curtis chats with the owner of the salon, Laslo from Hungary, who told him that he looked just like his father. I think Hungarians are charming just by the fact of being Hungarian. Must be taught in school there. We'll see what happens - so far on day twelve it's still hanging in there - we'll see. :)
The whole thing is like a military campaign. I'm taking a ton of vitamins, get antioxidant IV drips from my GP, have my scalp rubbed and electrically "stimulated" one a week, see the acupuncturist twice a week and try to have a massage when I can. Talk about maintenance!
The thing they say is that you need a team - my "team" is my wonderful, patient husband, Curtis; my family and friends; the techies who work on my website and the printer who prints the cookbooks - they send me flowers and books to read and answer customer emails on the days I can't; my very caring GP, Patrick Fratellone; my DOM (doctor of Chinese medicine), Dr Chen - the man with the needles; the Hungarian technician, Laslo, with the head stimulator machine; my oncologist, Dr Pasmantier (who allows me alternative therapies and who is even a bit interested); my surgeon, Alex Swistel (the man with the bow tie and the grin who gives out his email address to his patients), My Columbian dentist, Martha (who does flamenco in her spare time); my French massage therapist (who lectures me); Ralph Moss who writes the Moss Reports on the internet (a voice of sanity). Opps - almost forgot the nice people in the wig store....
Off to eat a second breakfast of incredibly healthy things, drink my wheat grass and raw vegetable juice.
Susan Love, a former teacher and fundraiser, wanted to create something that would help people reconnect. Her website, http://www.HeritageCookbook.com provides a tool for making a family cookbook with pictures and stories and recipes.
The site is recommended by Oprah Magazine.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Susan_Love

The End Of A Mother's Journey

Two and a half years ago my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. She had done rather well until late last winter. I helplessly watched her deteriorate over many months. The road has been quite bumpy lately, to say the least. In late October, mom really went 'downhill' quickly. I packed my bags and headed over to mom and dad's. The moment I walked in the house and saw mom, I knew.
That night, she and I had a wonderful heart-to-heart about her wishes, her plans, my fears... a pure mother-daughter bonding time. Lots of tears mixed with tremendous love and joy.
We took her to the hospital the next day, thinking they'd give her an I.V. and send her home that night or the next day. That wasn't God's plan. One thing led to another in the hospital, and mom regressed even more quickly. She died two and a half weeks later.
I have countless moments where I question my judgment in taking mom to the hospital in the first place. It's undeniable that several procedures and treatments performed during that time did NOT help mom, physically or mentally. Many things happened in those weeks that will forever make me question the rationale and scientific validity of conventional medicine. I was left shaking my head in stunned disbelief more times than I care to remember. (Again, most of the individuals caring for mom were great... they were just doing what they were trained to do.)
Yet, thankfully, God was gracious enough to sprinkle those weeks with just as many blessings and wonderful moments to hold on to forever. I am eternally blessed to have witnessed such incredible displays of love between my mom and dad, mom and my children, mom and her sisters, mom and her friends... and of course, mom and I. I'm also blessed to have witnessed mom's enormous strength and courage. I also saw what it really, truly means to be joyful and gracious. Mom was beautiful at the deepest levels even as she struggled through the limitations of her physical body. What a woman of grace.
Who knows what the "right" thing to do was - going to the hospital where mom seemingly suffered quite a bit more, or keeping her in the 'comfort' of her home. I can choose to beat myself up about that one for the rest of my life, or I can accept that it was all part of God's plan. If we decided to keep her at home, mom surely would have died two weeks earlier. Perhaps this would have prevented some suffering, but it would have also eliminated any of the opportunities for intense demonstrations of love and bonding granted to our family in mom's final days. Maybe it's selfish on my part, but I AM glad that we had those extra two weeks to share with mom. I think she is, too.
I've got many thoughts, theories, stories and lessons-learned to share as a result of this journey with mom. Thoughts about the potential causes of the epidemic of breast cancer, biopsies, mammograms, dissecting the human lymphatic system, hormonal therapy, palliative care and even the parallels between dying and giving birth. I also hope to help others by sharing my game plan for getting back on track with my own physical, mental and emotional health after months (years, actually) of exhausting stress. I just needed to write this first article and get rid of the 'post-traumatic writer's block' I've been experiencing! NOW the floodgates can really open!
Just like those weeks in the hospital with mom, I find that my life these days is a roller coaster of emotions - intense sadness followed by pure happiness and laughter followed by more sadness, more joy... all fairly natural, I've been told! I find peace and calmness when I remember to look for the blessings in each moment, to feel grateful for everything God has given me, and to choose happiness rather than sorrow and pity. It was a great woman who shared such simple, yet profound advice with me. It was my mom!
Join this Family Wellness expert as she shares the journey of her mom's breast cancer experiences and looks for anwers and hope. The full story, as well as alternative treatment choices, healthy lifestyle recommendations and glimpses of truth in the midst of the "cancer machine" can be found at http://www.DaughtersOfBreastCancer.blogspot.com
Non-cancer-specific, entertaining and intriguing health conversation is yours to discover at http://www.DrMomOnline.com
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Colleen_Trombley

Breast Cancer Changed My Reality

Reality is what we believe in our mind to be true. First we believe it, and then we perceive it as our reality. If we believe in something strongly enough it becomes our reality.
When I was battling with breast cancer, my breast cancer became to be my reality.
For generations and generations, our parents, grandparents, teachers, and every one else who had great influence in molding our life, have indoctrinated us to believe in certain things.
Here is a short story to demonstrate how beliefs were created, so you can understand what I mean.
This lady was trimming her rose bushes all the way to the bottom of the stem. Her daughter asked her why was she trimming the roses all the way to the bottom. The lady answered, "Because my mother used to do so."
So, they went to the grandmother and asked her the same question. The grandmothers' answer was that her mother used to do so. When the great-grandmother was asked the same question, she said, because the pot was small.
You see, one person's action, turned into a 4-generation belief. And that's what I call mass conscious belief.
There are many different realities, beliefs, cultures, and traditions in the world. But we are all connected to one universal power. Our beliefs are the only thing that separates us.
The writing of this article is the result of me believing in myself. That, in turn, created the magic in my life. Even my breast cancer did not stop me from expressing myself.
"Thoughts lead on to purposes; purposes go forth in action; actions form habits; habits decide character; and character fixes our destiny." --Tryon Edwards
What do you think you might accomplish if you change your reality?
With much Love and Laughter,
Lea Yekutiel - authorMaking the Breast of It:Overcoming Fear of Intimacy After Breast Cancerhttp://www.ilovemybreastcancer.comhttp://www.wordpress.com/breastcancernmastectomyhttp://www.squidoo.com/ilovemybreastcancer
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Lea_B._Yekutiel

Breast Cancer and Your Conscious Mind

Breast cancer is created by each one of us consciously, even though we would not like to admit it.
Each of us has a conscious mind and a subconscious mind.
Generally speaking, it is the nature of our conscious mind to be literal, rational, logical, serious, and negative. It tends to resist positive messages, such as, "I am healthy," and "I am breast cancer free." It is here where early childhood messages are stored such as, "You will never amount to anything." You may not even be aware of these thoughts. No matter how much you try to reprogram these negative messages on a conscious level, the emotional imprints are so deep that negative beliefs will prevail.
Our conscious mind uses common sense and analyzes the information it receives, and organizes it into a logical framework. It goes into a mode of trying to "figure out" every thought, idea, or any creation we come up with.
Sometimes these functions of our conscious mind are helpful, but other times they can sabotage our dreams, stopping them from being fulfilled. Our conscious mind is source of doubt and has a negative mental attitude.
So, is it possible that we create our breast cancer consciously, by having a negative mental attitude towards our life?
Was your breast cancer created consciously? Give this idea some thought and find out how your breast cancer manifested in your life.
Our subconscious mind, on the other hand, is a source of faith and has a positive mental attitude.
"The mind is like a monkey swinging from branch to branch through the forest. In order not to lose sight of the monkey, we must watch the monkey constantly and even be one with it."--Thich Nhat Hanh
You will read about our subconscious mind in the next article.
With much Love, Laughter and Positive Consciousness.
Lea Yekutiel - authorMaking the Breast of It: Overcoming Fear of Intimacy After Breast Cancerhttp://www.ilovemybreastcancer.comhttp://www.wordpress.com/breastcancernmastectomyhttp://www.squidoo.com/ilovemybreastcancer
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Lea_B._Yekutiel

Breast Cancer and Your Subconscious Mind

The nature of our subconscious mind is to be more Positive, Playful, and Visual. The Creative, Intuitive Mind is less discriminating. It absorbs information without questions or analysis. It simply does not have the capacity of calculation.
Let's go back to the concept of the thought being a seed, because it is imperative to clearly understand the importance of what actually transpires.
Does it mean that your breast cancer is a result of seeds that were planted in your subconscious mind through your thoughts?
Every thought is a seed at the conceptual level. When a seed is planted in fertile soil (feelings already established) this seed (thought/feeling) will then - depending upon prior programming and the intensity of the feeling --- create a re-action to that thought/feeling, or create the physical expression of that thought/feeling.
If so, is your breast cancer the physical expression of that thought/feeling in the paragraph above.
Now we have, as it commonly known, an emotion. This emotion then becomes a living vibration, which fertilizes that seed/soil (thought/feeling), and we begin to grow our crop of effects (conditions in our life). In other words, thoughts and feelings create an emotion that causes effects.
Are you with me?
Now, I am thinking maybe my breast cancer is the cause of the seed that fertilized through my thoughts and feelings, way before it manifested in my life physically.
Any word or piece of data chosen by our conscious mind establishes images within our subconscious mind. If we think in a positive manner, visualize what we want, and dare to dream we will get whatever we want.
"The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift."--Albert Einstein
It is that simple!
With much Love and Laughter,
Lea Yekutiel - authorMaking the Breast of It: Overcoming Fear of Intimacy After Breast Cancerhttp://www.ilovemybreastcancer.comhttp://www.wordpress.com/breastcancernmastectomyhttp://www.squidoo.com/ilovemybreastcancer
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Lea_B._Yekutiel

My Breast Cancer Helped Me To Discover My Purpose in Life

My breast cancer motivated me to write the book "Making the Breast of It" with a subtitle "Overcoming Fear of Intimacy after Mastectomy".
The reason I wrote this book was to inspire, empower, encourage, to-give hope and heal the many wounds that breast cancer survivors experience in various aspects of their lives.
Losing a breast is the most traumatic and fearsome experience a woman can face. Breasts for women are one of the symbolic of their womanhood, and when it's taken away from them, they don't feel a whole women anymore. The biggest fear is how men would react towards them after mastectomy. This fear is only on the psychological level, because women are as viable sexual being as before. They are whole women in every aspect. Unfortunately, many men feel that women with breast cancer or mastectomy are not women anymore. This notion about women from the men point of view is totally false. These men are usually misinformed or have misconception about this issue.
Fortunately, not all men live with this misconception about women, and many of them are very supportive and have great understanding of the issue.
Women with breast cancer can be as sexual and intimate with men as before they had to face this dreaded disease.
I feel that, it is our task as women who experienced this issue to educate those men about our condition.
So, let's roll up our sleeves and get to work of educating men!
With all my Love and Laughter,
Lea Yekutiel
Lea Yekutiel - authorMaking the Breast of It:Overcoming Fear of Intimacy After Breast Cancerhttp://www.ilovemybreastcancer.comhttp://www.wordpress.com/breastcancernmastectomyhttp://www.squidoo.com/ilovemybreastcancer
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Lea_B._Yekutiel

Microsurgical Breast Reconstruction With Perforator Flaps

So what is a "perforator flap"?
Pioneered in the early 1990's, perforator flap breast reconstruction represents the state of the art in breast reconstruction surgery after mastectomy. The tissue removed at the time of mastectomy may be replaced with the patient's own warm, soft, living tissue to recreate a "natural" breast.
Skin, fatty tissue, and the tiny blood vessels that supply nutrients to the tissue ("perforators") can be taken from the patient's abdomen (SIEA flap or DIEP flap procedures) or buttocks (GAP flap).
Unlike conventional tissue reconstruction techniques (like the TRAM flap), these perforator flap techniques carefully preserve the patient's underlying musculature. The tissue is then transplanted to the patient's chest and reconnected using microsurgery.
Preserving underlying muscles lessens postoperative discomfort making the recovery easier and shorter, and also enables the patient to maintain muscle strength long-term. This is particularly important for active women.
While these procedures offer many advantages to the patient, the surgeries are very complex and time-consuming and specialized training is required. Before choosing a surgeon ensure that he/she is a plastic surgeon certified by the American Board of Plastic Surgery and has extensive experience with microsurgery and perforator flap breast reconstruction. Ask about the success rate of the procedure in their hands (most specialists boast a flap survival rate of at least 97%) and how many they have performed.
Insurance companies are federally mandated to pay for the cost of breast reconstruction. Unfortunately, some patients will still face difficulties in gaining access to microsurgeons specializing in procedures. Here again it pays to seek out plastic surgeons who specialize in these techniques as typically an insurance specialist is available to help patients with insurance issues.
Minas T Chrysopoulo, MDPlastic, Reconstructive & Microsurgical Associates (PRMA)9635 Huebner RoadSan Antonio, TX 78240Tel: (210) 692-1181Toll Free: (800) 692-5565www.prma-enhance.comwww.breast-cancer-reconstruction.blogspot.comDr Chrysopoulo is board certified in Plastic and Reconstructive Surgery and specializes in DIEP flap, SIEA flap and GAP flap breast reconstruction following mastectomy.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Minas_Chrysopoulo,_MD